Kate's Musings

May 26, 2022

Rev. Dr. Kate Conolly

This is not what I was going to write about this week. However, it is what is on my heart and what I am musing about. Today, Angus and I were about a mile from home on our morning walk when we spotted two little girls up ahead standing in their driveway with their backpacks. They were clearly waiting for the school bus. I said, “good morning!” and they asked if they could pet Angus. I asked what grades they were in. The little girls said 1st and 3rd. I told them to have a great day at school as their bus was pulling up. The girls boarded the bus and waved to Angus and me as the bus drove away. I waved back.

I found myself tearing up as I continued our walk. I wondered if their parents had been scared to let them go to school today. I wondered if the girls knew what happened in Uvalde and if they were scared. I thought about the children in Uvalde who took the bus to school on Tuesday who never got to come home. I thought about all the children at Robb Elementary who had to experience something so horrifying it will impact the rest of their lives.  I walked through the door to my house, with a sense of despair that anything will change, even after the death, yet again, of innocent children. The multi-faceted problem of mass shootings can feel intractable.

Then, I knew what I needed to do. I brought 21 tea candles to my special prayer space. As I lit the candles, I said the names of the children and teachers who had died. And then I prayed. To tell you the truth – I do not remember much of what I prayed. At one point, when I was thinking about the terrible pain of their parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends – all I could do was pray over and over – “help them, dear God.” 

Last night the citizens of Uvalde gathered to pray together. In their grief, they sought solace in their faith and in each other, just as other American communities over the years have gathered since Columbine. What is unthinkable in most of the rest of the world, the murder of children at school, has become part of our lives. So too has the debate around guns – which seems to bring so little fruitful discussion and action, just increased polarization. 

My first experience in Sunday School here at First Church was in the Peace Class. The class was starting a study of the book God and Guns in America by Michael Austin. What I loved was that the whole class time was spent going around the room and everyone sharing our experience with guns within our families of origin. Our experiences covered the gamut from the complete absence of guns in our homes to guns being an integral and revered part of the family culture. Everyone listened respectfully as we told our stories. It was clear to me that this felt like a safe environment to be one’s authentic self. What a perfect way to start the class about a controversial subject, beginning with the foundation of sharing our stories. Rev. Carlo Rapanut, in his excellent sermon last week, encouraged us to get curious about the stories of others. To, in the words of St. Francis, “seek not so much to be understood as to understand.” Oh, how this is needed on a variety of issues right now. 

One last thought. We had Parish Conference on Tuesday night. Jonathan Liu, who is our senior lay leader and chairs the PC, gave us space to share what was on our hearts around the Uvalde shooting. He then led us in a beautiful prayer. Jonathan gave us the gift of the reminder that we are part of a faith community who knows we can turn to God and each other in these times of tragedy and sadness. 

In ministry with you,

Kate

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