I Love You. Have You Eaten?
“Get up and eat, otherwise the journey will be too much for you.”
— 1 Kings 19:7
A wise colleague highlighted this word from God as the one needed today. When that word was first spoken, the prophet Elijah was in a cross mood in a cross time. The journey ahead felt too difficult. He had given up. However, God had not given up on him.
This week’s letter is for those who also find themselves in a cross mood in a cross time: those who grieve, who are scared, who are numb, who are discouraged or confused. Perhaps the journey ahead feels too difficult. Perhaps you feel like giving up. If that’s not you, you might read on anyway for the sake of empathy, just know that that’s who I’m writing to.
First things first: I love you. I see you. You matter. Your voice matters.
Second: Have you eaten today? Have you had enough water?
As I have heard from folks this week, some need space to sit in their grief. Some need the next best step in order to sit in that grief. Whichever feelings (or not) you are experiencing are valid. Take what resonates here and leave the rest. This is not meant to be a prescription for you to follow, but a written embrace to sink into.
For those who are grieving: I see you. I grieve with you.
This is a trying and a holy grief, because it comes from having wanted better not only for ourselves but for one another. Our shared fear, heartbreak, sadness, rage, is as hard as it is beautiful, because it is born of love and compassion.
We are scared for our queer and especially trans family and loved ones. We want for them, and for us, to live in a country where there is no doubt of their belovedness, where their health, safety, and wellbeing are valued and protected.
We are heartbroken for our children and our grandchildren. We are heartbroken because we had hoped to raise them in a world where our values – of kindness, compassion, unconditional love, honesty, integrity, inclusion, vulnerability – matched their experience of the world. We had hoped that these values would be shared by those in power.
We are sad because we longed for a data point that told us we were collectively moving toward a nation that increasingly rejected xenophobia, misogyny, racism, and transphobia.
These feelings are not new, just as the reality of our country is not new. But it is still hard.
Sitting in our grief means taking space to turn toward the wise and gentle people of your life, to be enveloped by these bright and crisp fall days we’ve had, to tell people you love them, to remind yourself that you are loved. It means turning away from screens and scrolling and instead leaning into in-person connection where you can find it, or 1-1 time on the phone or online where it’s possible. It means gravitating toward the tender spaces and letting yourself rest there.
May these breath prayers by Cole Arthur Riley be one of those tender spaces for you:
Inhale: I’m not foolish for hoping
Exhale: I won’t rush from this grief.
Inhale: The world reveals itself
Exhale: for what we’ve known it to be.
Inhale: I won’t expedite my grief
Exhale: to alleviate this tension.
For those who need the next right step: I see you. I will walk with you.
What is the next right step? Love the heck out of each other.
I lean on the words of Venice Williams here, who reminds us that some of her ancestors dealt with at least 400 years of this under worse conditions. She writes:
Continue to do the good work.
Continue to build bridges not walls.
Continue to lead with compassion.
Continue the demanding work
of liberation for all.
Continue to dismantle broken systems,
large and small.
Continue to set the best example
for the children.
Continue to be a vessel of nourishing joy.
Continue right where you are.
Right where you live into your days.
Do so in the name of
The Creator who expects
nothing less from each of us.
And if you are not "continuing"
ALL of the above,
in community, partnership, collaboration?
What is it you have been doing?
What is it you are waiting for?
If you have just a moment before diving into the next right step, listen to the words of the angel of the Lord to Elijah and remember to eat first. Sustain your body and your soul first. Otherwise, the journey will be too much to bear.
One of the spaces of sustenance, both for your body and your soul, is the gathering we’ll have at First Church on Saturday, November 16 at 3:00pm. We called it Stirring the Pot because it is
the chili cook-off (and what is more soul heartening than ample delicious chilis)
a time set aside for that rich, in person connection and conversation that is so important in this season of discouragement. Through a series of structured small table conversations and finishing with dinner together, we have the opportunity to lift up one another’s spirits by sharing about what matters most to each one of us.
It will be a space for us to remember that even though the journey ahead feels too difficult, and even though some may feel like giving up, God has not given up on us.
And, according to the angel of the Lord, the food will help, too.
Love,
Pastor Karyn
Stirring the Pot FAQs
Is this a come-and-go event? What is the schedule?
It is not a come-and-go event. This visioning event and dinner will take the full time.
Starting at 3:00, small groups around tables will discuss 3 different questions. You will talk with a new group for each question so that you can hear from and share with as many people as possible. Each table will summarize their answers and then share with the entire group.
At 5:30 we’ll have a potluck dinner featuring a chili cook-off. We’ll be competing for 3 awards: The People’s Choice, Best Chili Name, and Most Unique Chili
Who should come?
All First Churchers! Everyone 6th grade and up are encouraged to attend.
How do I register?
Register online here or in-person this Sunday: Register Here
We will have limited space for walk-ups but will coordinate the discussion and food around our registration information.
Help! I have more questions!
Questions about the Visioning conversations contact: Michelle DeVaughn at devaughnmm@gmail.com.
Questions about the cook-off contact: Makenzie Aaby at Macaaby@gmail.com.
